


Hasumi MAYto Challenge

by hellohappyworld, peekeebeh (celestialroar)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, eichi is annoying, its not serious though, keichi is implied, t for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 18:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 15,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14502672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellohappyworld/pseuds/hellohappyworld, https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialroar/pseuds/peekeebeh
Summary: hi hi this is a challenge where we have to write a keito fic every day for the month of may. they will all be memes don't expect anything serious. seriously please theyre all jokes





	1. Day 1: Arts and Crafts with Eichi and Keito

“Keito, can you pick up some white paint for me?” Keito looked up from the stack of papers on the student council desk to see Eichi playing around on his laptop. He wasn’t sure if Eichi ever got any real work done on there or if he was just posting more ‘deep metaphors’ which really don’t mean anything at all. Some first years referred to him as ‘Yumenosaki’s own Jayden Smith.’ Keito let out a sigh.

“What for?”

“Well I was thinking, my laptop, which just so happens to be a Macbook Pro 15.4-inch with LED-backlit display, 2.9GHz quad-core Intel Core i7 processor with Turbo Boost up to 3.9GHz, 512GB of storage, 16GB of memory, and a 4GB Radeon Pro 560 graphics card, just so happens to be colored in gray and black.” Eichi didn’t know what any of those words meant.

“Your point being?” He failed to see the connection between picking up some white paint and the color of Eichi’s laptop just as he failed to see why Eichi bothered to memorize it’s specs. It’s not like he bought it himself, the Tenshouin family had their servants go wait outside best buy for 12 hours in the rain to be the first in line to purchase every new Apple product.

“Well, because ‘fine’ have likened themselves to angels, I figure it should be white, so I wanted to paint it. It needs to be entirely white, including the letters on the keyboard. Painting my laptop is obviously the most logical conclusion to come to.” Keito wasn’t sure Eichi knew where all the keys were on the keyboard, but he didn’t question it.

“You do realize you can just purchase a laptop cover, correct?”

“Oh silly Keito! Wearing the skin of an angel doesn’t mean you are one on the inside, no?” Keito kind of glared at him for this one. This is what the first years were talking about.

“You are certainly one to talk about that.”

“Did you just imply I look like an angel?” Eichi did that fuckkcigng smile. You Know The One. THe fuckiggn Eichi Smile i hate it. “Anyways, I need to paint the insides white as well. I’ll have to open it up and paint it and then put it back together again. Though, I’m not sure quite how to do that, so I was thinking of asking that one kid from Trickstar for help.”

Keito, however, didn’t need to be Makoto to know that Eichi is an idiot, and that painting the entire insides of his laptop was a very, very bad idea. A very… Flammable idea.

“Goddammit, Eichi you are so lucky I am morosexual and am exclusively attracted to dumbasses you are so fucking stupid” and then they kissed that is all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eichi painting his laptop is kind of an inside joke and probably does not make sense but its fine


	2. Day 2: The Mystery of Mizuhanome

There were many things that Keito Hasumi was well-known for around Yumenosaki Academy: being the leader of the fearsome unit Akatsuki, being the vice-president of the even more fearsome Student Council, and being one of the only people in class 3-A who ever bothered with his studies. He particularly prided himself on the latter, thinking to himself about how his essay on the portrayal of love in Romeo and Juliet would undoubtedly be the best one in the class. As he finished up writing the conclusion, he glanced at the clock: it was only 6:37PM, giving him exactly 2 hours and 23 minutes before his usual bedtime of 9PM. Perfect.

You see, just as there were many things that Keito was well-known for, there were many things that people didn’t know about him. One of these things was that Keito liked to write stories. But these stories weren’t just any old stories. No, Keito’s stories are what we like to call, well, ‘fanfiction.’ He had written- and in some cases illustrated- many, many fanfics, usually about classic novels, and usually written to a very high standard, even if he did say so himself. Of course, he couldn’t let anyone know about his fanfics, so he wrote them under the penname of ‘Mizuhanome’ (but of course Eichi being Eichi knew all about this. There’s no stopping Eichi, unfortunately, as Keito knew all too well).

So. With all that spare time before he went to bed, Keito decided to log into Archive of Our Own (as Mizuhanome, obviously) and create his newest masterpiece. He knew very well that that idiot Hibiki had already had a go at writing his own version of Romeo and Juliet, and watching it had been, quite simply, incorrigible. Keito knew he could do better. He cracked his knuckles and began to type…

\--

The next morning, Keito got to school bright and early as usual. The only other people in 3-A who had arrived were Eichi, who seemed to be occupied with reading something on his phone, and Sena.

“Good morning, Sena. I trust you’ve done your homework.” Keito said, deciding to make conversation to pass the time until the teacher got there.

“Yeah, about that—” Sena started, but Eichi cut him off.

“Sena-kun told me he found something very interesting when doing the research for his essay last night. Perhaps you’d like to take a look, Keito?” Eichi held out his phone, smiling. He was smiling. The Eichi Smile. You know. The smile. This can’t be good, Keito thought to himself, glancing at Eichi’s phone.

He saw a familiar flash of red, a familiar font… Oh no. This was…

“Romeo vs Juliet: The Ultimate Battle of Love by Mizuhanome,” Eichi said.

Keito longed for the sweet embrace of death.

“I thought it was some kind of study guide, but it turned out to be a weird story,” Sena said. “I have no idea what the hell it was about, or why someone would even bother to write something so idiotic. Who is this ‘Mizuhanome,’ anyway?”

“You didn’t like Mizuhanome’s adaptation?” Keito asked, offended. The fact someone would even dare to describe his masterpiece as ‘idiotic’ was… well, it was incorrigible.

“No.”

“Can you not see how well Mizuhanome understands Shakespeare’s—”

“Why do you even care so much, Hasumi?” Izumi interjected. “It’s not like you wrote it.”

“Yes,” Eichi said, smiling sweetly, “It’s not like you wrote it.”

Keito died


	3. Day 3: Bakyuu~n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall like my self insert? (*^w^*)

It was a given that Akatsuki would win against Ra*bits at the Yumenosaki Academy Tanabata DreamFes. I voted for them, of course. They were more talented, more experienced, and just all-around better. So yeah, it was no surprise when Wataru announced loud and clear, “The winner is too foreseeable and not very interesting, but it is ‘Akatsuki’!”

It kinda pissed me off that he said ‘not very interesting,’ but hey, I can forgive him (only because he’s Hibiki Wataru AKA my second-favourite idol on the Yumenosaki Idol Course, second only to Keito himself lol).

The kids from Ra*bits looked a bit down (who could blame them?) but I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. Akatsuki won this round. Akatsuki won. I would have said ‘I can’t believe they won,’ but I can believe it very much. They deserved it, and I’m proud of them I’m so so proud of them I love them so much especially Keito I love him so much kjshdgfhdjkslpJHDGHJS AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyway. Wataru started talking about some kind of tradition where they pick a member of the audience and grant their wish. I didn’t exactly get my hopes up – there were hundreds of people here after all – so imagine my surprise when a spotlight suddenly shone on me, and Wataru said “Ah, the charming lady over there. Yes, the one being shined by the light! Let us grant your wish. We will be dispatching a person with a mike your way~ In a loud voice, please tell us your wish ♪”

Oh my god. They picked me. They were going to grant my wish. Anything I wanted. Was this real life? Now this I couldn’t believe. For a second, I was too shocked to say anything or think of a wish, but then it hit me. What more could I, Katie Peekeebeh, want than…

“Keito-sa~n, pierce me with your arrow ☆”

Keito looked taken aback, but Wataru just chuckled. “Fufufu, if you actually shot a guest with an arrow it would be a catastrophe, would it not? Shall I ask if it is alright for you to just pretend to shoot an arrow? Do you mind, miss?”

I felt somehow things might have gotten a little messy if real arrows were involved, so I told Wataru it was fine. Real arrow or pretend arrow, as long as it was from Keito, it would be perfect. He’s perfect. Everything he does is perfect. His glasses, his ‘doshigatai,’ his hair… I’m getting carried away. Sorry not sorry lol

“It seems she is okay with that~ Now then, go ahead Sir Right Hand!” Wataru said, “Please shoot while shouting ‘bakyuu~n’ ☆”

I’m sure I heard Keito mutter something about something being ‘incorrigible,’ but a few seconds later, I heard the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard in my life.

“Ba-bakyuu~n……☆”

I think I started astral projecting. He’s perfect. I love him. I love a man named Keito Hasumi. He’s perfect. I died and went to heaven. Because of Keito Hasumi. I love him. Did I mention he’s perfect? It must be, the best day of my life.

Also I think after that he asked Souma to borrow his sword to commit seppuku OOPS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of want to die


	4. Day 4: Who broke it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the latest gacha story inspired me

In 5 minutes, all hell will break loose in the student council room.

Keito receives a text from Eichi, sent to himself, Tori and Mao.

Keito enters the room and feels the tension in the air.

He looks down at the student council president’s desk to see a kettle, used for boiling water for tea, undoubtedly broken.

Not this shit again.

Eichi smiles (you know the one) as Tori and Mao enter the room.

“I’m not mad, I just want to know,”

 

“Who broke it?”

Those three words flow out of his mouth in such a manner it felt as if he were reciting a ritual. They make the air in the room around them cold as the night. They signalled the end of days.

“I did it. I broke it Ei-” He knows it's futile, but Keito says what he must.

“No, no you didn’t. Tori?” 

“D-don’t look at me… Look at Mao.”

“What? I didn’t break it.”

“That’s weird… How’d you even know it was broken.”

“Because it’s sitting right in front of us… And it’s broken.”

“Suspicious…”

“Let’s not fight, I broke it. Let me handle it, Eichi.” He was trying so hard.

“No. Who broke it?”

5 minutes had passed.

  


* * *

  


“I broke it.” Keito knew this all along. Eichi chuckled.

 

“Good.

 

It was getting a little chummy around here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very heavily based off of this of course https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C689vsIJfoo


	5. Day 5: Strange Noises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keito is there i guess

Keito stood alone in the student council room after finishing up work for the day. Eichi had been sent to the hospital again and Mao had been busy with Trickstar that day, which left more work for him and Tori to pick up. Of course, in reality, this just meant more work for Keito.   
While he was on his way out of the building, he heard strange noises down the hall. Being Keito of course he had to go investigate and make sure no one was up to any suspicious activities. 

The strange noises seemed to be coming from the 2-A classroom… It was suspicious, there shouldn’t be anyone left in the classrooms at this time. He could understand if it were practice rooms or club rooms, but class ended hours ago. As he approached, it sounded like two people were talking very loudly inside. Trickstar’s Akehoshi and Switch’s Sakasaki.

Keito reached for the door handle when Subaru spoke.

“Natsume! I promise, I really do like you!” Keito had a feeling these words were not ones he was ever intended to hear.

and then keitos like. oh swag and went home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can i say i like subanatsu


	6. Day 6: Glasses Seller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell im running out of ideas

“Hello, Glasses Seller,” A man with magenta-ish fuschia boysenberry hair had entered the stall. It was lined wall to wall with glasses in various shapes, colors and most importantly, strengths. “I am going into battle and I want your strongest glasses.” It was best to assume, of course, that the strongest glasses were stored away, unavailable to most who came here.

“My glasses are too strong for you, traveller.” The man behind the counter looked up at the traveller. He knew that he would never be ready for his glasses. He was too… incorrigible.

“Glasses Seller, I tell you I am going into battle, and I want only your strongest glasses.” He was a stubborn one.

“You cannot handle my glasses. They’re too strong for you.” The shopkeeper was losing his patience.

“Glasses Seller, listen to me; I want only your strongest glasses.”

“My glasses would kill you traveller! You cannot handle my glasses.” He could not believe the gall this man had, acting as if he was worthy of his strongest glasses.

“Glasses Seller, enough of these games. I’m going into battle and I need your strongest glasses.” And now he was accusing him of playing games. The only one playing games here was the traveller, taking the shopkeepers warnings as jest.

“My strongest glasses would kill you, traveller. You can’t handle my strongest glasses. You’d better go to a seller that sells weaker glasses.” He didn’t want his business, anyways. He didn’t want to sell to fools who had no respect for glasses.

“Glasses Seller, I’m telling you right now; I’m going into battle and I need only your strongest glasses.” The traveller had a stern look on his face. The shopkeep had enough.

“You don’t know what you ask, traveller. My strongest glasses will kill a dragon, let alone a man! You need a seller that sells weaker glasses, because my glasses are too strong!” The traveller was lucky he hadn’t been thrown out of the shop yet.

“Glasses Seller, I’m telling you I need your strongest glasses. I’m going into battle! I’m going to battle and I need your strongest glasses!” 

“You can’t handle my strongest glasses! No one can! My strongest glasses aren’t fit for a beast, let alone a man!” Surely, if the traveller were to wear one of his glasses, he would fall the second the frames touched his face.

“Glasses Seller, what do I have to tell you to get your glasses? Why won’t you trust me with your strongest glasses, Glasses Seller? I need them if I’m to be successful in the battle!” The traveller’s desperate efforts were in vain.

“I can’t give you my strongest glasses because my strongest glasses are only for the strongest beings, and you are of the weakest.” The shopkeeper was very tired of the traveller’s pleading.

“Well then that’s it, Glasses Seller. I’ll go elsewhere. I’ll go elsewhere for my glasses.”

“That’s what you’d better do.” The shopkeeper was pleased with this result.

“I’ll go elsewhere for my glasses and I’ll never come back!”

“Good. You’re not welcome here! My glasses are only for the strongest and you clearly are not of the strongest, you’re clearly the weakest!” Snakes like him don’t deserve glasses of such a high calibre.

“You’ve had your say, Glasses Seller, but I’ll have mine. You’re a rascal, you’re a rascal with no respect for Eden. No respect for anything… except your glasses!”

“Why respect Eden… when my glasses can do anything that you can…” Absolutely incorrigible. His glasses were the only thing worth respecting left in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_FQU4KzN7A based off of this of course


	7. Day 7: The Worst Thing in the World

Keito stared down at the bento box in his hands, shaking. He had quite honestly never felt so repulsed in his life. He’d just enjoyed most of what had been a delicious meal, but…

He shook his head. As the leader of Akatsuki, he had to be strong, after all. Especially after Kanzaki had gone to all this effort to prepare lunchboxes for the rest of the unit… he just couldn’t let his junior’s effort go to waste. But why, oh why, did he have to include that cursed legume, that disgusting food of the devil, that horror of horrors…

Soybeans.

Had it been literally anyone else, he would have been furious. He would have blown up at them, punished them for mocking him so cruelly, told them to get themselves and their wretched beans out of his sight. But Kanzaki was a good kid, and he probably didn’t know how much Keito disliked – no, _despised_ – soybeans. It was probably just an honest mistake. But still, that didn’t change the fact that there were soybeans in the same room as Keito right now, and it was taking him every ounce of willpower he possessed not to fling the box in his hands as far away from himself as possible.

On the one hand, Keito was glad Kanzaki wasn’t nearby right now; he and Kiryu were already practicing, having eaten their lunches earlier while Keito was busy with student council work. On the other hand, the absence of his unitmates meant he was all alone with the soybeans. Oh, how he detested them (the soybeans not his unitmates lol). Their taste, their texture… everything about them was incorrigible. He hated them more than anything – more than Eichi’s annoying antics, more than Hibiki’s buffoonery – anything. He didn’t know how anyone could bear to eat such despicable things without being sick. But to leave part of the lunch that Kanzaki had so lovingly made for him… It just wasn’t right.

Steeling himself, Keito picked up one of the vile little beans with his chopsticks and brought it towards his mouth. Just the sight of it made him shudder, and the _smell_ … it was almost enough to make him retch. Keito knew his limits. He couldn’t do this.

“I’m sorry, Kanzaki…” he muttered, hurling the box to the ground, “I’ve failed you.”


	8. Day 8: Food Discourse

After yesterday’s ordeal with the soybean bento (which had ended very awkwardly, unfortunately, but somehow he had managed to convince Kanzaki not to commit sepukku), Keito was enjoying a pleasant, soybean-free day. He hadn’t seen a single trace of a soybean since yesterday afternoon, and it was an altogether rather pleasant experience.

However, Keito did not know that that was about to change.

As he was walking down the corridor outside the first year classrooms, thinking to himself about Akatsuki’s upcoming live, out of the corner of his eye he spotted two first years. Ra*bits’ Shino and Ryuseitai’s Takamine. They were good kids, true – in fact, Eichi was always going on and on about how lovely Shino was – but of course they sometimes got into mischief, as all first years do. Keito thought back to the time he had to scold them for sliding around the wet corridors after school, and decided to keep a close eye on them.

He watched as Takamine passed a large paper bag, not unlike the kind you get in a grocery store, to Shino. Suspicious. Keito decided to investigate further.

“What are you two doing?” he asked, marching over to them.

They both looked at him, surprised. “Eh…? Oh, I was just giving Shino-kun some spare vegetables from my family’s greengrocer’s…” Takamine said.

“Vegetables?”

“Yes! Um, my family is poor, so Takamine-kun decided to help us out a bit,” Shino explained. “Actually, he’s been a huge help. He said they couldn’t sell these edamame, so I could have them for free—"

“Edamame?” Keito thundered. He couldn’t believe it. Or rather, he could believe that Takamine’s family hadn’t been able to sell them – they were soybeans after all. No-one in their right mind would buy soybeans in any shape or form. What he couldn’t believe was that he had encountered those revolting beans for the second time in two days.

“Yeah, edamame…” Takamine said. “Is there something wrong with that…?”

“Everything’s wrong with that. Edamame are soybeans and soybeans are the foulest, most disgusting, most revolting food on this earth.”

The first years exchanged confused glances. “Um… Vice President?” Shino piped up, “I think they’re actually quite delicious. And they’re healthy too, and easy to cook! If you just blanch them in some salt water, they make a good side dish. My little sister really loves it ♪”

Keito made a mental note that everything Eichi had told him about Shino being a good kid was a lie.

“Yeah…” Takamine added, “They’re not my favourite, but they’re pretty good… We have a lot extra at home if you’re interested…?”

How could someone dare to suggest that he, Keito Hasumi, was interested in purchasing those abhorrent beans? How incorrigible. Keito was right to be suspicious of these first years. It should be against the school rules to trade any kind of soybeans on the school premises, he thought to himself. In fact, he’d talk to Eichi about the possibility of implementing that rule tomorrow.

“That’s enough,” he said, sternly. “You’re both incorrigible. I detest soybeans. You have no idea how much anger I felt upon discovering that that bag you’re holding contains them.”

They were both starting to look a little nervous now, especially Shino. “V-Vice President, I’m sorr—”

But before he could continue, Kiryu appeared at the end of the corridor. “Hey, Hasumi danna, I was looking for you. I wanted to have a word with you about next week’s live.” Kiryu’s gaze fell upon the two slightly terrified first years. “If you’re not too busy right now.”

After yesterday’s disaster with Kanzaki’s bento, Keito really wasn’t in the mood to explain that he’d just gotten into some food discourse with a couple of first years. He sighed. “It’s fine. I’m not too busy,” he said. He could see Shino let out a sigh of relief.

The soybeans had escaped his wrath today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read biblio for a tiny bit of context


	9. Day 9: Gives You Wings

“Keito,”

“Yes, Eichi?”

“May I ask why the student council room is currently filled to the brim with empty cans of Red Bull?”

“I have been drinking them in order to stay awake to finish up student council work. I was planning on throwing them out once I have finished.”

“Keito,”

“Yes, Eichi?”

“This room is currently lined wall to wall with empty cans.” The two spoke in a fortress of empty cans. The layers were so thick, it’s possible that even bullets might not have been able to entirely pass through. No light streamed into the room through the window, because it had been entirely blocked up with cans. “How long have you been here?” Eichi smiled. It was Monday morning.

“I simply haven’t had the time to throw them out yet, Eichi, there is more work to be done. I have dedicated my entire weekend to completing it.” Despite staying up for over 72 hours, Keito seemed to be completing work efficiently and thoroughly.

“If you drink any more of this stuff you’ll grow wings and be forced to join my ‘fine.’” Eichi smiled again, because he’s like that. Eichi pulls out the chair behind his desk and purposefully pulls it out just far enough and just quick enough to become the catalyst for the inevitable. The Red Bull walls which Keito had built up over the weekend came crashing down, turning the floor into a sea of tin in a matter of seconds.

Eichi didn’t care, he didn’t have to clean it up later. I’m so sorry, Yuzuru. Keito ignored the catastrophe and continued working. They sat in silence. Eichi smiled.

“Keito, can you come and grab these papers from me, it seems we’ve gotten another request from the staff.”

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t give them to me while you w-”

Keito passed out the second he stood up and landed in a pile of tin cans.

Eichi smiled.


	10. Day 10: No Running in the Halls

“Wahaha! ☆”

That was the sound of a devil’s laugh.

Plastered onto the walls of Yumenosaki Academy were many, many posters. Most of these posters were created by either Keito or Anzu. Specifically, there were posters advising students not to run in the halls. These posters always, absolutely 100% of the time, fell into the ‘Keito’ category. Running in the halls was simply incorrigible, especially if it had been raining. Despite the warnings, a number of students behaved like wild animals and sprinted from class to class anyways (the worst was that first year from Ra*bits.) Keito liked to think the posters were doing some help, even if they weren’t.

Now, any hall-running hooligans previously subdued by the posters would be held back no longer, as a loud, obnoxious third year had been drawing all over them in rainbow colored markers. And he had been running while doing it.

His name was Leo Tsukinaga.

“Wahahahaha~! ☆”

And that was the sound of his laugh.

It was the single most incorrigible sound known to man.

Chasing this most incorrigible sound was none other than Keito Hasumi himself. Yes, he may have been running, but it was for a good cause. If running in the halls meant stopping someone else from running in the halls, who was certainly more disruptive than he was, it was justified. Since his posters were being drawn over, it could potentially stop others in the future as well. The posters had actually only been a casualty to Leo’s crayola fueled rampage, as he was writing music across the walls, but the amount of disrespect he was displaying by drawing over the posters while doing precisely what they told him not to was appalling. 

Neither party knew when this would end. Leo was running off of pure inspiration, and Keito was running off of his pure disdain for the incorrigible. And Red Bull. Lots of Red Bull.

“Tsukinaga, I suggest you cease with your running right now! The longer this goes on the longer your lecturing will be!”

Leo refused to let up.

“Leodore Tsukinaga, I swear I will catch you if it is the last thing I do!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been waiting 4 months for an excuse to say leodore tsukinaga
> 
> edit: my heart goes out to yuuichirou umehara (voice of keito,) let's all wish for a speedy recovery!


	11. Day 11: keito

keito ㅤ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah


	12. Day 12: Damn you, Eichi

“What are you doing, Isara?”

“Oh, I’m just, uh, playing Cookie Run.”

“Cookie Run?”

Keito glanced down at Isara’s phone. A little gingerbread man-looking creature in a superhero costume was running across the screen, jumping and sliding and collecting jellybeans as Isara tapped at the screen. The entire thing looked pointless – and incorrigible.

“I only downloaded it because Makoto my boyfriend who I love very much wanted to add me as a friend, but it’s actually pretty fun,” Isara explained sheepishly.

“I see,” Keito said, but honestly, he didn’t really see at all. “Well, I think it’s time for you to stop playing this ‘Cookie Run’ and get back to your Student Council work now,” he added sternly.

Isara nodded, hastily setting his phone down to continue with his work.

\--

“And we just got a request from Ryuseitai to – Eichi, are you listening to me?”

Eichi glanced up from his phone and smiled. “Sorry, Keito,” he said, not sounding sorry at all, “I was just playing Cookie Run: OvenBreak for iOS on my silver 5.8 inch iPhone X with 256GB capacity, Super Retina HD display, fingerprint-resistant oleophobic coating, A11 Bionic chip with 64-bit architecture and 12-megapixel wide-angle and telephoto cameras.”

Once again, Keito had no idea why Eichi felt the need to rattle off all his phone’s specs, but he was beyond questioning it now. “Don’t tell me you’re playing that incorrigible game too.”

“Isara-kun introduced me to it. I was rather intrigued, particularly when I discovered you can play as an angel,” Eichi said, pointing at the cookie on the screen. True to his word, it had little white wings, just like an angel. For some reason, just looking at it irritated Keito. Maybe because it just so happened to remind him of a certain someone, who just so happened to be standing right next to him right now, with a very irritating smile plastered to his very angelic face.

“You should try playing it too, Keito.”

“I do not have time for such incorrigible distractions, and neither should you!” Keito snapped, but of course Eichi being Eichi just laughed at him. Keito sighed. He was beginning to get very tired of this ‘Cookie Run.’

\--

When Keito got home from school that evening, he went straight to his room as usual, intending to get all his homework done like the model student that he was. But you see, even the best of us make mistakes sometimes, and sadly, Keito was just about to find that out for himself.

It had been on his mind all day. Cookie Run. The game that both Isara and Eichi found so entertaining. The game that distracted them both from their work. The game that Eichi told him he should play…

Keito knew he shouldn’t, but for some reason, he found himself opening up the Google Play Store, typing in those cursed words… It was as if the Devil himself (or perhaps Eichi) was tempting him. He was curious, wanting to see for himself what all the fuss was about. He’d just play one or two quick games, he told himself, just a few minutes. He wouldn’t let it consume him. Little did he know, there was no going back.

At first, he didn’t understand. It seemed like a ridiculous premise – sentient cookies running away from a witch, whatever next? – but soon he found himself drawn in by the simple controls, the hypnotic music, playing race after race… And when he unlocked Wind Archer Cookie, it was like he had found someone he could respect. This was an honourable cookie, one he could see joining his Akatsuki or Archery Club. Keito was starting to see the appeal of this game now.

It was only when his phone buzzed, signalling it was running out of battery, that Keito shook himself out of his trance. He glanced at his clock. It was 5:48.

5:48AM.

“Damn you, Eichi,” he whispered, even though for once it wasn’t really Eichi’s fault if we’re being honest. But still. He hadn’t done any of his homework, he hadn’t gotten a single wink of sleep, and he was exhausted, all because of this cursed cookie game that Eichi had recommended to him. There was only one thing for it.

Keito downed seven cans of Red Bull


	13. Day 13: Finecoin

“Eichi,”

“Yes, Keito?”

“What the fuck is this?” Keito slammed down a stack of posters colored in golds and pastel blues onto Eichi’s desk. It wasn’t like Keito to use expletives like that but this was whack. Eichi is whack. His whole character is ‘being whack.’

“Oh, that’s finecoin. Were you interested in investing?”

“Eichi,”

“Yes, Keito?”

“Eichi, what is finecoin?”

“Finecoin is my cryptocurrency, silly.” Keito could not believe Eichi had done this. Or maybe he could, Eichi does some stupid shit sometimes. Let’s not forget the time he bought Wataru his balloon. Keito still has to fix balloon related problems sometimes.

“We already have a cryptocurrency at this school, Eichi, having another is pointless.” Keito was referring to Yumecoins of course, the school’s currency given out for winning lives and doing chores, used for purchasing unit outfits and other such things. No one was really sure how that worked out properly, like, unless they have literally everything they need right there on campus, there’s a lot of problems that need to be worked out. The logistics just aren’t right. Like, say for example, Nazuna Nito of Ra*bits wished to purchase some flowers to pin to their outfits in their next live, right? And he went to some random florist in town, they couldn’t accept the Yumecoins obviously because it can only be used on campus, but it would make sense for him to use Yumecoins because it’s a school related cost. I mean, Nazuna is a nice guy and would just buy them with his own money and not cause anyone any problems but like, like ok he wouldn’t try using the Yumecoins there in the first place because he knows they won’t work and like I know there’s an exchange rate but apparently it’s like really bad and, there are problems, okay? This whole fuckin system is whack. No one gets it. No one wants to get it. No one likes economics this is an idol school not a business school. Keito doesn’t even wanna know and he’s Keito. They all just ignore the problem and blame Eichi. I mean he’s rich. And he basically owns the school. His problem now. Also, apparently, sometimes that Sakasaki kid hears weird shit from his crystals or whatever mumbo jumbo of the week that there are these people who keep referring to diamonds like they’re a currency and not a precious j

“Yumecoin can only be spent on school related activities.” Eichi smiled. “My finecoin, however, can be spent anywhere as long as they have relations with the Tenshouin family.” If it were possible to speak in fine print, Eichi would have just now. “Oh, but you can only purchase teacups and fine goods.” This was the stupidest fucking thing to ever come out of Eichi’s mouth and that’s really saying something.

Keito sighed. Another worthless cryptocurrency. Just like bitcoin. Just like Yumecoin. Just like the most incorrigible dogecoin. Keito hated bitcoin. A lot. You can’t buy anything you need to live with it. The only things you can buy with bitcoin are better computer parts so that you can mine more bitcoins and illegal services and substances off of the darkest depths of the internet. Keito wasn’t really sure if that really existed or not. One time he heard one of the twins talking about “Dark Google” but when Keito tried to look for it, so that he could request it be blocked by the school’s web servers of course, all he found were extensions for his browser which made Google black and he was like, ‘Did Rei make this shit?’ but then he tried it out and he found out it actually is easier on the eyes. Anyways bitcoin sucks. Keito hates it. He heart one time that allegedly the creator believes in insider trading which is illegal. That’s why Martha Stewart went to jail. There’s a reason she hangs out with Snoop Dogg, you know. Anyways bitcoin is bad. Investing in it is silly. If you take anything away from here today, don’t invest in bitcoin, kids.

“Innovative” my ass. “New kind of money” my ass. Fuck bitcoin. 

And fuck Eichi for making another cryptocurrency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i uh  
> yeah


	14. Day 14: tfw the corrigible becomes incorrigible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sequel to yesterday

So many outrageous things had been happening at Yumenosaki Academy lately, and it was really starting to tire Keito out. He was glad that, at the very least, he could always rely on Kiryu and Kanzaki to be somewhat less incorrigible than everyone else. As he headed to Akatsuki practice, he thought to himself about how it would finally provide him with a welcome break from the foolishness that came with dealing with the likes of Eichi, Hibiki, and Tsukinaga.

When he got to the practice room, Keito noted that Kiryu hadn’t arrived yet, but also… Something else was amiss. Kanzaki was present, true, but so were two other people who definitely should not have been there – Trickstar’s Akehoshi and Yuuki. The trio were crouched around a laptop, presumably Yuuki’s, and were muttering to each other urgently, as if discussing a matter of great importance.

“Yuuki, Akehoshi, you shouldn’t be here,” Keito said sternly. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Before his classmates could reply, Kanzaki jumped to their defence. “Hasumi-dono! Do not punish them, I implore you! They are here to assist with an important matter!”

“Oh? And what might this matter be?”

“Um, Kanzaki-kun heard about the Student Council President’s finecoin and wanted us to help him create a cryptocurrency for Akatsuki,” Yuuki explained.

“It is as he says. Indeed, I have little to no knowledge of cryptocurrency, although Yuuki-dono is proficient at using computers and Akehoshi-dono is knowledgeable about coins, so I sought their aid.”

Akehoshi chipped in, “But Zaki-san, these Akatsukicoins that you want us to help you with… They’re not real coins, are they?”

Yuuki shook his head. “Akehoshi-kun, I already told you…”

“Aww… Why would you call them ‘coins’ if they’re not shiny? It doesn’t make sense, Ukki~”

“It matters not. The most important thing is that our Akatsukicoin will rival, or even supersede that tyrant’s finecoin.”

Keito had heard enough. He was speechless. He physically didn’t have the energy to contribute to this conversation. In fact, he would rather the ground opened up and swallowed him right there and then. Eichi making a new cryptocurrency was one thing, but Kanzaki? And not just any cryptocurrency, but one bearing the name of his own unit?

Is nothing sacred?


	15. Day 15: Warm Color

When Keito heard the sound of someone running – no, _dashing_ – towards him, he knew it was too late.

That dull first year kid never looked where he was going and was also extremely rude and stubborn to boot. He was simply incorrigible. All Keito could do was accept his fate and brace himself for the inevitable impact, already mentally preparing the lectures he would subject that Tenma brat to afterwards.

And there it was. Tenma barrelled into him at the speed of light, and it kinda hurt like how does one tiny kid have that much energy honestly it should be illegal

“Oi, brat, watch where you’re going. Don’t you know it’s against the rules to run in the corridors?” Keito snapped.

“Uuu, but I’ve got somewhere important to be! You can’t lecture me today, yanno!”

So he’d already started with the incorrigible excuses. Well, whatever important place he had to be would have to wait, specifically until after Keito was done giving him a good talking to. Even now that the posters warning against running in the halls had been defaced with that incorrigible Tsukinaga’s incorrigible graffiti, Keito was certain that the equally incorrigible Tenma was well aware of the rule, having been stopped and lectured countless times by Kunugi-sensei. He really could not get any more incorrigible than this.

“You’re hopeless,” Keito said. “You—”

But before he could continue, he was interrupted by a shout of “Mitsu-chan!” from the other end of the corridor. It was the first year from Aoba’s unit, Harukawa.

“Mitsu-chan~! Yuu-chan said you were looking for Sora and wanted to tell Sora something important~” Harukawa said.

Suddenly, Tenma’s bold and brash demeanour disappeared. He actually seemed to be blushing slightly as he looked at Harukawa, and honestly Keito wouldn’t call himself a genius but it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out what was going on.

“HiHi~ Mitsu-chan has a really warm colour right now~☆”

“Um, Sora-chan… Y-You know…” Tenma took a deep breath. “Ahem. I really like Sora-chan, yanno! I... _like_ -like you, yanno!”

Harukawa smiled. “HaHa~ Sora like-likes Mitsu-chan as well~♪”

“Th-then, Sora-chan, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Of course Sora will~! Sora is super happy~☆”

Keito got the feeling he shouldn’t be here.

“But Mitsu-chan~? There’s still an angry colour here, huh~?”

“Oh, that’s probably this guy,” Tenma explained, pointing to Keito. “He was just about to lecture me! We gotta get out of here, yanno!”

So now he was planning to escape. Keito shook his head from the sheer incorrigibleness of it all. You can’t run from your troubles forever, Mitsuru Tenma. Yet for some weird reason… When Keito saw those two first years sprinting away from him, hand in hand, he couldn’t find it in himself to continue scolding Tenma. Just for today.

and then keitos like. oh swag and went home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can i say we like mitsusora


	16. Day 16: Doshigatai

You may have noticed that Keito enjoys using the word ‘incorrigible.’

Keito first heard this word back when he was a mere six years old, when his mother had used it to describe Eichi’s mother upon hearing the latter had purchased luxury ice cubes, a golf cart hovercraft, gold leaf toilet paper, and a diamond-encrusted puppy bathtub. The Tenshouins didn’t even _have_ a dog.

Anyway, being a child, Keito didn’t know what this word meant, but he liked the sound of it. So being Keito, he looked it up in the dictionary and found out…

‘Incorrigible’ is an adjective used to describe someone who is ‘not able to be changed or reformed’ or in other words, ‘beyond help.’

It had proved to be a very useful word indeed.

Keito could use it to describe Himemiya when he decided to come to the Student Council room and do nothing but eat sweets and complain loudly about how much work he had to do, despite actually doing none of it (I’m so sorry Yuzuru). Simply incorrigible.

He also found it was useful for describing the transfer student whenever she decided to do something outrageous, like teaming up with Trickstar to rebel against the student council, designing Akatsuki an outfit consisting of only a headband and a loincloth, or daring to sit next to him at lunch with a bento full of soybeans. One hundred percent incorrigible.

He could also use it to describe Hibiki, who was presently putting on an impromptu magic show in the middle of the handicraft clubroom to cheer up his boyfriend Itsuki, completely oblivious to the fact Kagehira was definitely not having a fun time and Aoba just seemed more confused than anything tbh. It was hard to tell what Itsuki himself was thinking because on the one hand he absolutely should not be enjoying this, but on the other hand he almost looked like he was trying _too_ hard not to crack a smile. Regardless, Itsuki would _never_ ask the Student Council for help regarding these matters, however not-beautiful they may be, but Keito had heard the ruckus and decided to intervene anyway because a magic show in a clubroom absolutely did _not_ constitute an approved B1 DreamFes. Somehow, despite trying his best to reprimand Hibiki, Keito found himself swept up onstage (a table), and oh god now Hibiki was referring to him as his ‘amazing assistant~☆’ and suddenly Itsuki looked less than happy and the whole thing was a mess and he was sure Kagehira was just about to call pest control

Absolutely incorrigible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA LIKE WATASHU?


	17. Day 17: Confirmed

It was a calm day in the 3-A classroom. Or at least, as calm as you could get in Yumenosaki. Chiaki was doodling in his notebook while humming to himself, Shu was fixing Mademoiselle’s hair, Izumi was fixing his _own_ hair and Keito waited patiently for class to start. Eichi, Madara and Kaoru had all been absent that day, each for their own reasons.

3-B however, had been missing a classmate, for absolutely unknown reasons.

“Sena~!” The 3-A classroom door burst open with a kick.

Ah, there he was. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Leo to be absent from his class, he just usually isn’t disturbing the others.

Keito looked up from his book to see who was creating such a ruckus. It was none other than that incorrigible fellow who ruined all of his posters. Leo ran (yes, he ran) past Keito’s desk towards Izumi’s. Keito was preparing a lecture for him when he overheard the most appalling thing.

“Sena~! You have to hear this, I figured it out! The student council is the Illuminati!” Keito could not believe his ears. He got up from his desk and approached the two.

“Tsukinaga, what the fuck are you doing?” It wasn’t like Keito to use expletives like that but this was whack.

“He does this shit every other week.” Izumi was not surprised about Leo’s conspiracy theory in the slightest. To Keito, it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard out of Leo’s mouth. Which is really saying something. “Sometimes that idiot sends me videos saying Tenshouin is a scientologist. It’s so~ annoying.” Keito thought that maybe he and Izumi had more in common than he thought.

* * *

“Alright, let’s start with the obvious.” He was giving them a full presentation on the chalkboard at this point. “What’s the one thing most associated with the Illluminati? That’s right, triangles.” He didn’t hesitate to answer his own question. “And triangles have just as many sides as there are student council members!”

“No, idiot, there’s not. The student council has four members and triangles have three sides. Are you really so stupid you forgot how to count?” With Izumi here, Keito didn’t need to interject.

“That’s just what they want you to think! Haven’t you noticed? That pink kid never actually does any work! It’s because he’s not _reeaaally_ a member~”

Please, Kunugi-sensei, where are you?

Leo’s presentation went on like this for an unreasonably long amount of time, filled with unreasonably awful ‘evidence.’ Things like ‘We won’t even give you a chance to blink’ being a line in fine’s song, Rainbow Circus, and how it was a reference to the all-seeing eye, or how the Illuminati symbol is on the American dollar bill, and Eichi has a lot of money, _so obviously he’s part of the Illuminati._ Keito found this point to be the most absurd of them all considering they are Japanese people who live in Japan and do not use American dollars and instead use yen.

* * *

The board was completely covered with sporadic notes and scribbles and “Wake up Sena”s by the time he concluded his speech.

“Goddammit, Ou-sama you are so lucky I am morosexual and am exclusively attracted to dumbasses you are so fucking stupid” and then izumi kissed leo and keito was like, “oh you too, huh?”


	18. Day 18: A Terrible, Horrible, Most Incorrigible Idea

Keito and Eichi had been together in the student council room that afternoon. Keito of course, was working and Eichi was… being Eichi. Man, a lot of these fics are Keito working and Eichi being Eichi, aren’t they?

“I was thinking, Keito,” Never a good thing to hear. “With the addition of the S3 Dreamfes, the system has so much more potential for different kinds of events.” Keito really did not like where this was going. “There could be more ‘battle of the bands’ type lives, or there could be a musical created in conjunction with Wataru’s theatre club…” Keito wasn’t very fond of the idea of ‘battle of the bands’ lives after the incident with UNDEAD back in spring. “Or, there could be a rap battle.” Keito wished Eichi had stopped talking long ago.

"Eichi," Keito scoffed, "That is literally the most terrible, horrible, incorrigible idea you have ever had." Was it just him or were Eichi’s ideas getting worse?

“I think it would be fun, Keito ♪ It’s not very idol-like, but it’s good to take rests and do things just for fun sometimes.” Eichi smiled. You know how he is.

“You can have fun in your own time, just don’t drag the rest of the school into it.” Eichi completely ignored him.

“There are some logistics we’ll have to think about, though. I’ve been doing some research and rap battles are actually quite complex!” Keito desperately wanted this conversation to end. “For example, will each unit have to perform a rap, and then the audience chooses the winner like in any other Dreamfes? Or would two units go back and forth, insulting each other until there’s a clear winner? These decisions are very important, Keito, as they impact every aspect of the Dreamfes. I was thinking, also… Maybe we should make it a mandatory event for all units to take part in?”

Keito would rather die than have to participate in a rap battle


	19. Day 19: It's Time

Archery club was quiet that afternoon. The only two present were Keito and Yuzuru. It was common for Leo to be missing, but Tsukasa’s absence was something Keito found odd. Especially since this was the third time in a row. He used to be so punctual, where could he have been going off to? Keito left Yuzuru to go look for the missing boy. Yuzuru was responsible, after all, and someone he could trust not to go destroying posters or creating cryptocurrencies or, even worse, eating soybeans.

“I summon Diamond Dire Wolf in attack mode!” Oh, what incorrigible noise was going on now. “I’m gonna use its effect to destroy my Wolf Axewielder and your Tiaramisu!”

_“Jesus Christ!”_

Couldn’t he just have one good day.

Keito marched over to the scene of the crime.

“Hey, shitty glasses, what d’you want?” Keito decided to ignore his unpleasantries for now, but he swore on the very glasses he wore on his face that he would make sure Oogami gets his comeuppance someday… But for now, he had other matters to attend to.

“Suou, what are you doing?” His voice was very tired. Tired in the ‘so much stupid shit has been going on I’m just tired of it all’ kind of way. “It’s good that you were having fun, but you have to stop skipping club meetings.” He was starting to sound like a parent. A really tired parent.

“My apologies, Hasumi Buchou. My parents do not let me play _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ at home, so I have been meeting with Oogami-senpai to do so.” Keito had vague memories of this “Yugioh” game from when he was a child. He never played, but some of his classmates had been interested in it. It seemed that recently it had been catching on in Yumenosaki Academy as well. 

That was never a good thing.

* * *

As incorrigible as it was, thoughts of that “Yugioh” game had plagued Keito’s mind the entire evening. He tried to deny thoughts that it might end up like Cookie Run, (which he had to force himself to uninstall, but not before linking his account to Facebook so to save his progress in the case he ever picks the game up again,) where he actually likes the game, but maybe a little too much. But if he did, perhaps it would give him a chance to get closer to his juniors. That couldn’t be a bad thing, could it? If he got closer to his juniors, they might even listen to him more when he told them to follow the rules.

Keito caved.

He found the game all too intriguing. The basics were surprisingly easy to pick up, but there were so many mechanics and things for more advanced players. He truly understood how this game could appeal to both children and young adults. It seemed that the archetype of cards Tsukasa had been using, _Madolche,_ where fairly complex as well. Keito couldn’t help but feel a little proud of him. He, personally, found himself drawn to the _Sylvan_ archetype. They were complex, and versatile. Being able to “excavate” through the deck and change the order that you draw cards-

He had to stop himself. 

Keito never thought he would be cursing a card game for children for keeping him up during the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late bc i had yugioh club lmaoo


	20. Day 20: A Piquant Challenge

After a long morning of dance practice, Keito was very much looking forward to having a healthy and nutritious lunch. He hadn’t brought in a bento today, so he decided to buy some food from the garden terrace and enjoy it there. After buying his ticket and choosing his meal (rice with vegetables NOT INCLUDING SOYBEANS), he went to look for a seat. Unfortunately, it being lunchtime, the terrace was busy. Extremely busy. In fact, all the tables were already taken, meaning he would have to find a spare seat somewhere and share with someone.

As Keito navigated through the chaos to find somewhere to sit, something incorrigible caught his eye. It was a group of first years – the Aoi twins, Sengoku, Takamine, and Nagumo – all talking loudly and making a fuss about something or other. The twins in particular were especially rowdy, and frankly, they were disturbing what little peace existed at the terrace at this time of day. Of course, Keito being Keito went over to scold them.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

“Oh, it’s the Vice President…” Takamine said. Keito still hadn’t fully forgiven him for the incident with the edamame the other day. “We were just talking about these chilli peppers…” He gestured towards a plate on the table. True to his word, it was piled high with chilli peppers. Keito was in awe. It was the most beautiful sight. He loved chilli peppers so much, almost as much as he hated soybeans. In fact, you could say they were his favourite food in the entire world.

“Midori-kun said his family had waaaay too many of these at home, so he brought some into school for anyone who wants them!” the older Aoi explained. “I said he should give some to Yuuta-kun, because he loves spicy food! Isn’t that right, Yuuta-kun?”

The younger Aoi sighed. “I _told_ you not to go and do stuff like this. You’re probably bothering Takamine-kun.”

“No… It’s really fine…” Takamine said. “If I couldn’t get rid of these, my family would probably get mad and throw rotten tomatoes at me…” Keito wondered what kind of family Takamine had.

“Well, if you need to get rid of these chillies, I would be more than happy to take some of them off your hands,” Keito said. He hoped he didn’t sound too excited, but he was. Very excited at the prospect of having all these wonderful, delicious chillies. Perhaps he could even forgive Takamine for the edamame incident.

“You like chillies, Vice President?” the younger Aoi enquired.

“Of course. They’re my favourite food – and a lot less incorrigible than soybeans.”

“Really?” the older Aoi asked, a mischievous smile on his face. Keito did not like that smile. He did not like it at all. In fact, it kinda reminded him of Eichi when he was about to suggest something incorrigible.

“Hinata-kun, you shouldn’t try anything with this dude,” Nagumo warned, “Taishou told me he can get _really_ scary.” Keito guessed by ‘Taishou’ he meant Kiryu, and wondered what Kiryu had been telling this kid about him. Regardless, he was glad Nagumo seemed to have a bit of common sense at least.

“I wasn’t going to suggest anything _bad,_ ” the older Aoi protested, “Just… if the Vice President loves chillies so much, maybe he and Yuuta-kun could have a chilli eating contest!”

Normally, Keito would dismiss such ideas as incorrigible, but… this one would give him a chance to eat his favourite food. Plus, there was no way he’d lose in a contest against some first year brat.

The younger Aoi looked wary. “Aniki, are you sure—”

“I accept your challenge,” Keito said, eliciting varying reactions from the first years. The younger Aoi and Nagumo looked stunned, Takamine looked… mildly surprised, the older Aoi smirked, and Sengoku, who had been silent all this time and shaking in fear just… continued to do that.

And so the rules were set. It was simple: whoever could eat the most chilli peppers before needing to drink any water was the winner. As Keito picked up his first chilli, he had no doubt in his mind that he would emerge victorious.

One chilli, two chillies, three chillies. This was easy. That Aoi had some nerve, challenging him to eat his own favourite food.

Four chillies, five chillies, six chillies. They were really quite delicious. Keito made a mental note to stop by Takamine’s grocery store to pick up some more of these later.

Seven chillies, eight chillies, nine chillies. Okay, these were some pretty hot chillies. Like, really hot. Keito wasn’t about to back down yet, though, he had more pride than that.

Ten chillies. Keito’s tongue was on fire.

Eleven chillies. Keito was burning.

Twelve chillies. Keito felt like he was about to die.

He quickly glanced over at Aoi; he was calmly munching through his thirteenth chilli pepper without any hint of weakness, ignoring the cheers of his older brother (‘Yuuta-kun, you’ve got this!’ and ‘Yuuta-kun, make your big bro proud!!’).

Nagumo looked at Keito, concerned. “Vice President, are you okay? Your nose is running, you know. It’s not very manly.”

“I’m fine,” Keito said, sweating. Normally he wouldn’t take being called ‘unmanly’ very kindly, but today it was the least of his worries.

Thirteen chillies. Was it even humanly possible to eat this many chillies?

Fourteen chillies. Keito knew he couldn’t do this anymore. He reached for his water bottle and downed the entire thing.

“And the winner is… Aoi-kun I guess…” Takamine announced.

The older Aoi whooped. “You did it, Yuuta-kun!” Keito looked over at them. The younger Aoi hadn’t even broken a sweat. Suddenly Keito felt really ashamed. And like he needed water. More water. His mouth was still burning. He just wanted a peaceful lunchtime, and now he had embarrassed himself in front of not one, but five first years. He prayed that none of them would tell Himemiya about this, because if Himemiya heard, he would tell Eichi and then Keito would never hear the end of this, in his life.

Just as he thought things couldn’t get any worse, he heard a weird, horrible laugh from a nearby table. “Kukuku. My, my, Hasumi-kun, even you get caught up in the games of young people sometimes, don’t you?” Keito wanted to die. Again. And also to kill that incorrigible vampire. “It seems you lost to my beloved child. I think it’s safe to assume this is not your proudest moment.”

Keito died


	21. Day 21: The Heart of a Girl in Love

As you might have noticed, many, many incorrigible happenings have been happening at Yumenosaki Academy recently. So many that Keito felt like something had to be done about it. He decided that the most logical course of action would be to speak to a teacher about it. So speak to a teacher he did.

“A lot of the first years have been running around in the corridors, which is not helped at all by that incorrigible Tsukinaga drawing over my posters warning them not to. Also… students have skipping club activities to play children’s card games. Several of them have created cryptocurrencies that aren’t related to Yumecoin. That idiot Hibiki performed a magic show in the handicraft clubroom the other day without permission. And Eichi has got it into his head that we’re putting on a whole-school mandatory rap battle at some point this year, which is truly the most terrible, horrible, incorrigible idea—”

“I understand, Hasumi-kun.” Kunugi-sensei sighed. He had really heard it all now. “I’ll see that something is done—”

Before he could continue, he was interrupted by a squeal of “Kunugi-senseeiii~♡” from down the corridor.

“Hasumi-kun, I have. To go.” Before Keito could question him, he’d disappeared. What was that all about? Keito turned around to see who had caused the teacher to flee the scene so swiftly.

It was one of the second years from Knights, Narukami. She ran up to Keito, a disappointed look on her face.

“You’re… Akatsuki’s Keito-chan, aren’t you? Keito-chan, could you help this poor girl out? Did you see where Kunugi-sensei went?” ‘Keito-chan,’ really? Who gave this kid permission to call him something so incorrigible?

“First of all, that’s ‘Hasumi-senpai’ to you. And no, unfortunately I did not see where Kunugi-sensei went, or else I’d still be telling him about all the nonsense that has been going on at this incorrigible school recently.”

Narukami sighed. “It’s _so_ unfair. I think he’s avoiding me. But I like him, Keito-chan~! I really do love him~!” Ah, so that was it. Keito remembered Sena once telling him about this lovestruck second year, although why anyone would be in love with Kunugi-sensei was beyond him. Then again, he could hardly talk, being morosexual and dating _Eichi_ of all people.

“I already told you, stop calling me ‘Keito-chan.’”

“Keito-chan,” Narukami said, completely ignoring him, “You ki~nda remind me of Kunugi-sensei, you know?”

Oh no.

“You talk in a similar way to him, and wear glasses like him too, you know?”

_Oh no._

“You’re pretty cute too~” Narukami was blushing slightly. “Oh! This maiden’s heart might just fall for you, Keito-chan…!”

Oh dear god. Keito did not need this. He _really_ did not need this. He had enough on his plate without an incorrigible second year having a crush on him and chasing him around the school like she did with Kunugi-sensei. Keito decided he had to put an end to this as soon as possible. There was only one thing for it.

“Listen, Narukami, that’s all very good and all but actually, I’m taken.”

and then arashi was like “by who” and keito was like “eichi tenshouin. unfortunately.” and then keito had to explain his poor life choices to a second year who turned out to be a really good listener actually. thanks arashi


	22. Day 22: Keito's True Love

“Keito,” Eichi said, in a tone that suggested he was about to say something terrible.

“Yes, Eichi?” Keito said, warily.

“If, for whatever reason, you were given the choice to sacrifice either your glasses or myself, which one would you give up?”

Keito failed to see a situation where such a choice would ever be relevant. Regardless, it was an interesting question, so he decided to give it some thought.

Eichi was very important to him, true. They had been close friends since childhood, and had always been able to rely on each other. At Yumenosaki, Keito was considered Eichi’s ‘right hand’ (that hopeless Hibiki being the left), and always wanted what was best for him. Eichi was even the one who Keito had given up his dreams of being a mangaka for. However incorrigible Eichi could be, Keito couldn’t deny he loved the man. But there was also no denying that he was the most terrible, horrible, annoying, irritating, _incorrigible_ person Keito had ever met and just had to go and do outrageous things like try to disband Akatsuki or be excited for Christmas sometimes.

On the other hand… Keito’s glasses had been there for him for as long as he could remember. They had helped him every single day of his life, never once complaining or suggesting anything incorrigible. Not to mention they were also exceedingly beautiful. Keito had utmost respect for his glasses - they were the only one who he could trust, the only proof that pure and holy things still existed in this world. They truly were his ultimate life partner.

“If I had to make such an incorrigible choice… I’m afraid to say that I would have to sacrifice you, Eichi. You see, my glasses are my one true love.”

Now, there were many things that could have killed Eichi Tenshouin. Between his illness and Shu Itsuki’s unstoppable desire to murder him, he had always known he didn’t have much time left. But what he didn’t know was that the thing that would ultimately end up leading to his demise was his own boyfriend rejecting him in favour of, an inanimate object.

Eichi died

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you havent read our other fic i highly suggest it https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969935/chapters/32161755


	23. Day 23: A Lovely Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would recommend perhaps not looking at this on a mobile screen

keitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumi  
keitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasumi  
ㅤkeitohasㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤumikeitohasuㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤmikeitoh  
ㅤasumiㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkeitohasuㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤmikei  
ㅤtohaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsumiㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkei  
ㅤtohaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsumiㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkei  
ㅤtohaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsumiㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkei  
ㅤㅤtohㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤasumikㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkei  
ㅤㅤㅤtohㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤasumikeitoㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhas  
ㅤㅤㅤㅤumikeㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤitohasumikeitomiㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkeito  
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhasumikeitohasumikeitohasumㅤㅤㅤㅤikeitohasumikeitohasumikeitohasu


	24. Day 24: yo pass the aux cord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keito who we stan 2-a now

Keito never thought his life would come to this. He was currently chasing a certain HDMI cable-wielding Subaru Akehoshi down the corridor, while a certain Natsume Sakasaki was chasing after them both, hurling soybeans at him, and a certain Souma Kanzaki was chasing after all three of them, brandishing his sword. Meanwhile, a certain Makoto Yuuki and Mao Isara were in the student council room, apologising profusely to a certain Eichi Tenshouin, where a certain Adonis Otogari was awkwardly standing in the doorway, unsure of if he was supposed to be there. And a certain Hokuto Hidaka was watching the entire debacle, sighing like it was the most incorrigible thing he’d ever seen. 

How did he get into this situation? Well, we’ll have to take a step back and transport ourselves back to 2-A’s classroom twenty minutes ago to find out...

It seemed like an ordinary lunch break. Adonis and Souma were sitting together, sharing their lunches and chatting amicably, Hokuto, Makoto, and Mao (who Makoto had invited over from 2-B that day) were thinking up ideas for Trickstar’s upcoming live show, and Subaru and His Boyfriend Natsume were discussing… _something_ in the corner. Something… that would soon be the start of this entire mess.

Subaru got up and ran over to the table where the rest of his unitmates were seated. “Heeeey, Ukki, Sari, Hokke~! Me and Natsume have a really good idea!”

Hokuto couldn’t think of the last time one of Subaru’s _or_ Natsume’s ideas could have been considered ‘good.’ “Oh? And what might this idea be?”

Natsume smiled. “Baru-kun and I thought it’d be niCE to play some video games with the rest of the clASS. As a class bonding actiVITY. You like video games too, don’t you, Ukki-kUN?”

Makoto nodded sheepishly. “Haha, I guess…”

“Sari-kun can join tOO, even though he so rudely abandoned class 2-B to be here with his boyfrIEND.”

Mao sighed. “Thanks, I guess? Seriously though, Sakasaki, I hardly _abandoned_ anyone...”

“What kind of video games were you thinking of playing?” Hokuto asked. It actually didn’t seem like too bad of an idea, considering the whole class was free and Natsume was president of the game research club so could probably set things up pretty easily.

“Mario Kart!” Subaru announced. “But you see, the thing is...”

“The other dAY, Sora invited his friend, Tenma-kun, to the game research clUB,” Natsume said. “That energetic kid wouldn’t stop dashing all over the plaCE. He ran into some wirES and broke our HDMI caBLE. Without it we can’t connect my Switch to the TV.”

“Your… Switch?” Hokuto asked, confused. “As in your unit…?”

“Hokkee-kun, are you truly an idIOT? I was talking about my Nintendo SwiTCH.”

“H-Hey, it’s okay!” Makoto said, praying ‘dear Miyamoto, I hope Sakasaki-kun doesn't murder Hidaka-kun over this.’ “I-I’ll just ask Nito-senpai if we can borrow a HDMI cable from the broadcasting committee!”

“Actually, me and Natsume have a better idea! We could-”

At this point, Souma had marched over from where he had been sitting, Adonis following along after him. “Why are you all shouting in such an undignified manner?” he demanded.

“Oh, hey, Zaki-san, Occhan~! Perfect timing!” Subaru said. “We were just discussing how we can get our hands on a HDMI cable to play video games with everyone!”

“HDMI cable…?” Adonis had no idea what one of those was. “I would be glad to be of assistance in obtaining one of these, however, I am afraid I have never heard of them before.”

“It’s okay!” Subaru said, “You can still help us with our plan, Occhan~! You see, what me and Natsume were thinking is that we could sneak into the student council room and, uh, _borrow_ one from there!”

Mao dropped the sandwich he was holding. “Subaru, are you insane?” As much as he loved his friends, as a member of the student council, he really couldn’t stand for this. “That’s a terrible idea! The President and Vice President are in there doing important work right now!”

“That’s where you come in, Sari-kUN,” Natsume said. “You are a member of that cursed student council, corrECT? We need you to go in there and distract thEM. If it comes down to it, I have some leftover soybeans from TanaBATA which we could use to distract that Vice PresiDENT.”

Souma drew his sword, never having been this offended in his life. “If you dare lay a hand on Hasumi-dono, I’ll strike you down where you stand, you fiend!”

“Ahaha, l-let’s calm down a bit, guys!” Makoto said, nervously, “I’m sure it’d be easier just to borrow one from Nito-senpai...”

“I’m inclined to agree with Yuuki on this one,” Hokuto said, “This is literally one of the worst ideas either of you has ever had.”

“But Hokkeeee…..”

After a long discussion (where Souma drew his sword a total of four times, Mao was sure Natsume had put a curse on him at some point, and Makoto was on the verge of a mental breakdown) it was decided that they’d go through with Natsume and Subaru’s plan, although some members of the class were less than enthusiastic about it. The plan went like this: Mao and Makoto would go into the student council room to distract Eichi and Keito, while Subaru and Hokuto sneaked in to find a HDMI cable. Adonis would be on lookout duty by the student council room door to ensure no-one else entered the room while they were going through with it, and Natsume would be on standby with soybeans… just in case they needed them, for whatever reason. Souma wanted no part in this disgusting plan that would mean deceiving Hasumi-dono.

So. Mao and Makoto knocked on the student council room door… to no response. “Do you think we should open it…?” Makoto whispered.

“It’s okay, don’t worry, Makoto!” Mao reassured him. “I’m a member of the student council anyway, so it’s fine if we go in!”

They quietly pushed open the door. The student council room was almost empty, aside from Keito slumped over a desk, a can of Red Bull inches away from his hand. “Is he okay?” Makoto asked, concerned.

Mao sighed. “He’s fine, probably just fell asleep because he overworked himself again. It’s the President we should be worried about. He was supposed to be here working too… I wonder where he is?”

“Maybe this is our chance. We should go and tell Akehoshi-kun and Hidaka-kun the coast is clear.”

So now it was onto Phase 2 of Plan 2-A Steals A HDMI Cable From The Student Council. Unfortunately, this was where it all started to go wrong. Subaru and Hokuto got into the room, no problem. They located the HDMI cable, no problem (Keito didn’t even wake up when Subaru yelled, ‘Hokke~! I’ve found it! I’ve found the cable!!” at the top of his lungs). It was all going so well. Too well, in fact. The problems started when they were about to leave the room, and Subaru, in his elated state, happened to pass a little _too_ close by Keito’s table, knocking the half-full can of Red Bull over onto Keito’s hand and all over his paperwork.

“Oops.”

Keito awoke from his power nap with a start. He had no idea what was going on, but when he caught sight of the two incorrigible second years, frozen in fear, Subaru clutching the HDMI cable to his chest, he lost it.

“What the hell are you two doing?” 

“Hokke, run!!” 

Hokuto didn’t need telling twice. Unfortunately, on their way out, they crashed into Eichi, who just so happened to be returning from his toilet break (you see, Adonis was far too honest and straightforward to be an effective lookout, and couldn’t lie to Eichi to buy time to save his life). At that point, Hokuto decided to quietly accept his fate. However, Subaru continued to run, Keito sprinting after him far more quickly than should be possible for a man who’d just had a caffeine crash. Natsume somehow materialised from the shadows and started chasing Keito while pelting him with the soybeans which had proved to come in very handy actually. And Souma was there too, yelling angrily about how he’d run Natsume through for doing such a despicable thing to Hasumi-dono. All this fuss for one HDMI cable.

“You know…” Mao whispered to Makoto, as Eichi turned to them with a very dangerous smile on his face, “We really should have just asked Nito-senpai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres Lots of gay people in this one...!!


	25. Day 25: A or B?

At this very moment, Keito felt two very conflicting emotions. On one hand, he was sitting there, waiting for one of the most dreadful, most anxiety inducing experiences of mankind. On the other, he was sitting there, in the middle of a haven of tens upon hundreds of glasses, in all sorts of styles and colors and things.

He was sitting in the optometrist’s office, waiting for his name to be called.

“ _Hasumi Keito?_ ”

And there it was.

Oh no.

  


* * *

  


_A, or B?_ Those three words echoed through the room. They lingered in the air, creating a fog in his judgement.

  


_A, or B?_ Those three words echoed through his mind. They would haunt him in his dreams.

  


_A, or B?_ Those three words echoed through his entire being. They rang through his ears like the toll of a funeral bell.

  


“ _Mr. Hasumi?_ ” Keito snapped out of his daze. Sweat was pouring down his forehead. He stuttered as he answered, full of uncertainty. He didn’t _really_ know if B was better than A, if A was better than B, if there was no discernible difference. This was the duality of man. How could A and B be so different, yet so the _the same_.

  


* * *

  


Keito couldn’t remember how the rest of that visit went. Perhaps he suppressed it from his memories. All he knew was that the next day, he woke up at home, a new pair of glasses lay resting inside their case, just waiting for him to put them on.


	26. Day 26: A Normal Conversation

It was a nice, normal lunch break at Yumenosaki Academy. No-one was having chilli pepper eating contests, creating cryptocurrencies, or stealing HDMI cables from the student council room. Keito had even been lucky enough to find himself a table at the garden terrace where he could sit alone and enjoy his lunch in peace. Perhaps today would be a good day. For once.

“E-Excuse me, Vice President?”

Keito looked up to see a normal first year with normal brown hair and normal brown eyes hovering near his table, a normal tray of normal food in his hands. It was Mashiro from Ra*bits. Keito wasn’t familiar with this boy, but this was probably a good thing considering most people Keito was familiar with were troublemakers and incorrigible idiots of the highest order.

“What do you want, Mashiro?” he asked.

The first year looked slightly nervous. “Um… Please can I sit here? I can’t find anywhere else…”

“That’s fine,” Keito said, glad that Mashiro had asked so politely. Perhaps people with manners still existed. 

Mashiro let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Finally, something has gone right today…”

“What do you mean, ‘finally, something has gone right?’” Keito asked, thinking maybe he had found a kindred spirit. ‘Finally, something has gone right’ was a very relatable feeling, after all. Perhaps this first year understood the misfortune of being surrounded by incorrigible fools every waking moment of his life.

“Well, um…” Mashiro said, “This morning, Mitsuru… that is, my unitmate, Mitsuru Tenma, wouldn’t stop dashing around the corridors, even when I tried to stop him. We ended up getting into trouble with Kunugi-sensei…” Keito was impressed that Mashiro even attempted to stop Tenma dashing around. Perhaps he could respect this first year.

“Then my boyfri- I-I mean my unitmate, Hajime Shino, gave me a bento… Hajime’s a great guy and all, but the bento had bitter melon in it, and I hate bitter melon! I couldn’t eat one bite!” Keito understood this feeling very well, having a similar aversion to soybeans himself.

“Also, I had theater club today… The Masked Freak - sorry, Hibiki-senpai - made me wear a frilly pink dress and say some really stupid, annoying lines! I hate him! And I hate having to play princesses all the time!” Keito privately thought that ‘the Masked Freak’ was the perfect nickname for Hibiki, actually.

Mashiro looked embarrassed. “Aha, sorry Vice President, I kinda got a bit carried away there…”

“No, it’s okay,” Keito said, “I understand. I despise that idiot Hibiki myself too.”

“You do?” Mashiro smiled. “I’m glad you get it!”

“Indeed. The other day, Hibiki decided to put on a magic show in the handicraft clubroom. When I went to stop him, he dragged me up onstage and made me into his assistant. The nerve of that man… Completely incorrigible.”

Mashiro sighed. “I totally understand, that sounds just like something he would do… You know, last week…”

They continued like this for a while, recounting stories of all the terrible things that insufferable Hibiki had done. Keito was rather enjoying himself, actually. He found that venting to this understanding first year was strangely therapeutic. Mashiro seemed like a good, hard-working kid, and from the sounds of it, put up with a lot of incorrigible nonsense in a similar way to Keito. Keito almost found himself wishing that Mashiro was a member of the student council instead of Himemiya. Perhaps then they’d have a first year there who actually pulled his weight. 

Suddenly, Mashiro got up from his seat very quickly. His gaze was fixed on something in the distance… Keito looked over at where he was staring, and saw none other than Trickstar’s Hokuto Hidaka.

“Th-That’s Hokuto-senpai…!” Mashiro’s expression was nothing short of pure adoration. “He really is the coolest, you know! He’s just like a prince, you know!” Mashiro started sprinting over to where Hidaka was standing, squealing, “Kyaaaa, Hokuto-senpai, give me a hug…!!”

Keito couldn’t believe this. He thought he’d finally, _finally_ found someone at this cursed school who understood him. Someone normal. But as it turned out, Mashiro was just as weird as the rest not that you can talk keito soybeanhater666 hasumi who wants to marry your glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can i say we like tomohaji


	27. Day 27: 3-A's Kanata Shinkai Defence Squad

“Shinkai.”

“Yes, Keito…?”

“Get out of the fountain.”

This must have been the 17th time this week. Keito had just been passing through the school courtyard, heading to class with with his classmates, Morisawa, Hakaze, and Mikejima, when he’d spotted an unmistakable tuft of cyan hair sticking out of the fountain. Of course, he couldn’t allow this, it was against the rules set out by the student council. When would that incorrigible Shinkai ever learn?

“Keito.”

“Yes, Shinkai?”

“I do not ‘want’ to get out of the ‘fountain’.”

Keito’s patience was wearing thin.

“Shinkai.”

“Yes, Keito…?”

“You have to get out of the fountain. Right now.”

“Why?”

Okay, now he was just being difficult. Keito could feel a migraine coming on.

“Student council’s orders. Don’t make me ask again, or you’ll be in big trouble. You’re incorrigible.”

Shinkai simply ignored him, instead choosing to ‘puka puka’ and ‘swim’ over to the other side of the fountain, as far away from Keito as possible.

“Shinkai,” Keito started, his voice rising dangerously, “If you don’t get out of the fountain right this instant, I’m going to have to ban you from idol activi-”

“You can’t do that, Hasumi!” Morisawa said, frowning, “Kanata… Ryuusei Blue is a guardian of justice! Banning him from idol activities wouldn’t be right!” Keito was sure he saw Shinkai smile for a moment, probably glad that his friend was defending him.

“That’s right, Vice President,” Hakaze said, “It might be kinda weird, but Kanata-kun isn’t hurting anyone or causing any trouble or anything or anything, so why don’t you just let him be?” At Hakaze’s words, Shinkai let out an annoying little giggle.

“Yeah,” Mikejima said, sounding kinda angry. Keito started to feel slightly uneasy; Mikejima wasn’t fond of him even at the best of times. “Leave Kanata-san alone.” Keito heard Shinkai mutter something along the lines of “I didn’t ‘ask’ for your help, ‘Rogue’,” but he kept smiling nonetheless.

Keito should have known better than to reprimand Shinkai in front of his best friend, boyfriend, and childhood mom frenemy, who just so happened to be a muscular basketball player, muscular surfer, and muscular runner respectively. Keito may have had Some upper body strength from his archery, but it wasn’t much compared to the muscle idiots from his unit, and it was nothing at all compared to his three burly classmates who were all glaring at him very threateningly right now for yelling at Shinkai oops he really shouldn’t have done that

Keito died

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry we're falling behind a bit we really have no excuse


	28. Day 28: Rolling Around at the Speed of Sound

“Hey, Keito,” Not this shit again. “I’m thinking about going roller skating this Saturday, you should come with~” Keito sighed.

“First of all, I have more important things to be doing, and second, you can’t be going out roller skating in your condition.” 

“Oh, Keito, it’ll be fine. I’m going either way, so even if you refuse it won’t change my mind.” This was a lie, of course.

“Goddammit, Eichi.” Was this Eichi’s stupid ass way of asking him out on a date? He asks him to go with him into a potentially dangerous (for Eichi) situation saying ‘Haha, Well I’m going anyways~!’ and then he expects him to just say yes? You can bet your ass he will. He’s going on a date with motherfucking Tenshouin Eichi to the roller rink and he’s going to goddamn enjoy himself and also make sure his boyfriend doesn’t fuckign die or something.  


* * *

  
Eichi skated around wildly like the incorrigible person he is. 

“Take it easy, will you? You _just_ got out of the hospital again.” Eichi was really being a pain in the ass lately, but then again, when wasn’t he?

“Catch me if you can, Keito~” Eichi stuck out his tongue and skated off very quickly again. Goddammit Eichi. When did he get so good at roller skating? In an attempt to stop this fiend, Keito goes after him… And falls flat on his ass. He heard giggles from familiar voices jingle behind him. Still on the floor, he turned around to see none other than Kuro Kiryuu and Nazuna Nito, holding hands. ‘oh swag’ Keito thought but he couldn’t exactly go home as he was on the floor in mild pain and still had to go wrangle up Eichi. He already knew the two were in a relationship of course, he is Kuro’s unit leader and all.

“You alright there, Danna?” The two helped Keito stand.

“Keito-chin, I’m pretty good at roller skating, so I could give you some tips if you’d like.” Nazuna smiled. He was a good guy, but he did still giggle at Keito for falling over and Keito had an idiot to catch. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” Keito brushed himself off and skated away. Nazuna gave Kuro a look. You know the kind of look. Like, a ‘that guys not gonna last 3 seconds out there’ kinda look but less mean. That kind of look.

History repeated itself.

Keito fell on his ass again.

Kuro couldn’t contain his laughter and nearly fell over _himself_ because of it.

Keito died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT CAN WE SAY WE LIKE KURONAZU. i like most kuro ships though. kuro kiryuu is a gay man


	29. Day 29: gay people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place like 8 or so years in the future just so u know

It was a beautiful summer’s day - the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Keito was just getting home from picking up Eichi’s medication from the pharmacy. On his way in, he decided to check the mail, because of course Eichi being Eichi never bothered with such things, despite the fact he’d been home all morning and didn’t have anything better to do. Keito wasn’t sure how he’d managed to live with this incorrigible man for the last few years tbh. But anyway. Back to the mail. The inside of the mailbox was the same as usual: a couple of bills, some flyers for their friends’ idol concerts, one of Hibiki’s doves (somehow), a wealthy living catalogue (Keito was pretty sure Eichi never even looked at them), a new pair of glasses (Keito had a subscription to a glasses of the month club), and… what was this? A large, white envelope, emblazoned with fancy writing and closed with a star-shaped seal…

Keito grabbed the assorted contents of the mailbox (aside from the dove) and headed inside. He took them to the kitchen where Eichi was waiting for him, his hair in curlers, watching some awful reality show on TV.

“Ah, Keito, my love,” Eichi said, smiling, “I missed you dearly.” Keito was touched, thinking for once in his life Eichi was being genuinely sweet, until he added, “I’m hungry. Make me food.”

“No,” Keito said shortly. “Also. Tell that incorrigible Hibiki to stop sending his incorrigible birds to our mailbox. One day I’m going to forget to check and it’ll get stuck in there and die.”

Eichi laughed. “Let Wataru have his fun. Besides, it’s not like you’d ever forget to check the mail.”

“Speaking of mail, this arrived today,” Keito said, holding up the starry envelope. “I haven’t opened it yet-” Eichi snatched the envelope out of his hands, eyes sparkling, “-but if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it’s-”

“Isara-kun and Yuuki-kun’s wedding invitation,” Eichi said gleefully, having ripped it open and read it with his usual childlike enthusiasm. Honestly, it was like he was five years old sometimes. 

“It was about time. We’re going, aren’t we?”

“Of course we are,” Eichi said, “I wouldn’t miss my precious juniors’ wedding for the world. Though honestly, Keito, those two are an entire year younger than us and if _they’re_ already getting married and we haven’t yet-”

“So what, Eichi.”  


* * *

  
And so Keito’s juniors’ big day came. The wedding party was held at twilight in a clearing in a seaside forest, and Keito had to admit, the location was quite pleasant. It had been decorated tastefully with flowers and strings of fairy lights, no doubt Anzu’s doing. She’d come a long way since her days decorating stages at Yumenosaki - in fact, rumour had it that Himemiya and Suou were also after her to help plan their wedding next. Could this poor woman ever catch a break? 

“Ah, all these flowers are really beautiful...” Eichi remarked.

“Indeed,” Keito said, “However, I seem to recall that Isara has pollen allergies, so it’s actually quite ridiculous. I would never have so much of something I’m allergic to at _my_ wedding. How incorrigible.”

“Oh?” Eichi tilted his head and smiled. “I didn’t know you were getting married, Keito. I would have thought you would have at least told me, your boyfriend-”

Keito ignored him and instead decided to make conversation with Sakuma’s younger brother and Sena, who both happened to be chatting idly nearby. The younger Sakuma seemed to be enjoying himself seeing as it was evening and there was no bright sunlight, not to mention he was also very happy for his best friend (“I’ve been telling Maa-kun to propose for _ages_ ~”). Sena was also happy for Yuuki, so much so that he was on the verge of tears. Keito thought it was... kinda disturbing actually. 

As well as Sakuma’s brother and Sena, there were plenty of other old friends from Yumenosaki milling about. At one point Keito almost tripped over Sengoku, who was sobbing his eyes out to Kanzaki about how happy he was for Isara-dono and Yuuki-dono. Kanzaki on his part was very proud of his former classmates. He had also brought his sword. To a wedding. Which is kinda weird if you ask me. Regardless, Keito made a mental note to catch up with Kanzaki later, it had been a while.

A familiar voice - Nito, no doubt - called over the intercom for all guests to take their seats because the ceremony was about to start. Keito sat himself next to Eichi in front of a large wooden platform, where the happy couple and their family and closest friends were stood. Hidaka was there, and started off the evening by giving a well-planned, moving speech about how far Yuuki and Isara had come since their high school days. Akehoshi was there too, and his speech was… decidedly less organised (Keito wondered if he had even planned it at all) but emotional all the same. So much so that Akehoshi had even started crying halfway through. And of course Anzu was also there with them, but she’d never really been one for speeches lol. Nevertheless, she looked delighted for her friends, a huge smile plastered across her face.

As Yuuki and Isara kissed, the numerous strings of fairy lights lit up, illuminating the clearing with soft pinks, blues, yellows, and greens. Keito had never seen those two look so happy. In fact, he’d started to get rather emotional himself. His glasses fogged up with tears as he stood up and clapped, and as everyone started walking off to congratulate the couple and enjoy the party, he ended up tripping over a chair, earning a giggle from Eichi.

“Keito, were you crying?”

“No,” Keito lied, knowing Eichi would never believe him anyway.

“It was a lovely ceremony, wasn’t it? In fact, I was thinking that one day we could do something similar, though perhaps on a cruise ship or- ”

Keito turned around and walked off to congratulate Isara and Yuuki - or rather, Isara and Isara - ignoring Eichi again. If they ever got married, he’d much prefer to have a quiet ceremony at his family’s temple rather than whatever ridiculous bourgeoisie thing Eichi had planned. Honestly, how incorrigible.

The rest of the evening passed by pleasantly enough. The newlyweds thanked Keito and Eichi for coming, and also for the… _lovely_ gift of a 2 million yen Auto-Volumetric La Marzocco FB/80 AV Commercial Espresso Machine they had given them (it was Eichi’s idea, of course). The wedding cake was huge, and despite Keito’s many, many attempts to stop Eichi from eating any (all that sugar could not be good for him), he ended up devouring a large slice anyway. That man was incorrigible. There were fireworks, which were very pretty but Keito really did not approve because the safety regulations seemed kinda lacking and he’d personally had to stop Himemiya running amok with a sparkler. Twice. There was also music, which Keito _really_ did not plan on dancing to, but in the end he may have been convinced by a certain Rei Sakuma and also the fact he didn’t want to be (in Eichi’s words) a ‘party pooper.’ All in all, it was an enjoyable evening, and Keito couldn’t have been happier for Isara and his new husband.

and then keitos like. oh swag and went home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can i say we (still) like maomako  
> shoutouts to our friend who planned out maomakos entire wedding


	30. Day 30: Just One Day

Keito sincerely hoped, from the very bottom of his heart, that when he returned to Yumenosaki that day, it wouldn’t be set aflame. He hadn’t been present the previous day, as Akatsuki had idol activities to attend to, so he wasn’t around to make sure Eichi (and the rest of the student body) didn’t ruin everything.

It all seemed normal. And quiet. Which Keito would have found to be fine, however given the… track record Yumenosaki had as of late, he wasn’t so confident.

He stood before the student council door.

He reached for the doorknob.

And he turned.

The instant he did so fog spilled out of the room with a _fwoosh_. What on Earth had happened here? The image that awaited inside was nothing like Keito could have ever imagined. Where used to be walls and windows with a view of the greenery outside was now panes of glass with a wall of space photos behind. The furniture was all replaced with a very peculiarly shaped table in the center of the room, with indents where padded black chairs sat in place. 

“Hello, Hassumii.”

Those surrounding the table were no better. In the two seats closest to Keito were two people in blue spandex jumpsuits and gold helmets who he could only assume were Tori and Mao. Sitting next to Tori was Wataru, _also_ wearing a spandex jumpsuit but this time in varying shades of gray. He was also wearing a white cape and a mask on one side of his face, his eye being covered with a red orb of some sort.

And finally, sitting in the very center, was Tenshouin Eichi, smiling as always, hands folded across the table. Little black claws came off of his fingers and he was wearing a white hooded… cloak… coat… thing. Seriously I can’t figure out what the fuck that is. It was finished off with gold epaulettes and a matching golden badge on his chest. There was still an empty seat between Eichi and Mao, which was probably the most terrifying thing Keito had seen in his life.

It was a lot to take in.

Yuzuru was there also (because he’s always there,) standing near Tori, but he was still in uniform as if everything were normal.

“What the fuck is this?” Keito had really been using a lot more expletives lately. Can you blame him? Look at the shit he has to deal with.

“What do you mean, Hassumii? Is something wrong?” Many things were wrong. Starting with that incorrigible nickname. Keito opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by five people in superhero suits burst into the room. If the door hadn’t already been open Keito was certain they would’ve kicked it down.

“Your days of evil end now, Ten Shouin!”

Couldn’t he just have one good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS MAKES NO SENSE IF YOU HAVENT READ THE AKUNOSAKI APRIL FOOLS STORY


End file.
